Man or Muppet

Illustration by Troy DeShano

Today I was thinking about how much I liked myself when I was in Africa.

I stood taller because I knew I had a job to do and I did it. There weren’t distractions or silly things to worry about. I didn’t have half-a-dozen projects to juggle at once.

And at the end of the day I could sit on the front porch and drink a Stoney in peace.

Basically, I felt like more of a man.

When I spend most my day doing self-promotion on social media and creating fabulous-but-unpaid projects and trolling craigslist for work it really takes a toll on my view of self.

I go to bed pretty dang tired every night, so I know I’m working hard, but honestly I don’t feel like much of a man.

It is something I struggle with a lot.