Over the past year that I’ve been learning to face my fears and discovering the lies that fuel them, I’ve also been making attempts to be more proactive in finding scary situations. So that this time around, I can run through them rather than from them.

One thing I’ve discovered through years of trials is that I am the most spiritually connected when I find myself in some sort of trouble.

At times it has been bad decisions catching up with me or relationship conflicts… the kind of trouble that I was “asking for” by behaving in ways I shouldn’t.

(the grown-up equivalent of sitting in the principal’s office “help me Jesus!”)

Other times it’s stuff I have absolutely no control overólike cancer.

Those moments of hopelessness, when I’m at the end of my rope is when I really cry out to God.

I seek God fervently and the big lie of the Matrix in which I live starts to become clear.

It seems that whether it’s balance in the universe or a divine sovereign plan or both, trouble always seems to find us.

So this year I’m committing to get into more trouble, because if it’s coming anyways, I’d like to have a say as to which kind of shenanigans I’m going to be in.

If I want to keep the Yin kosher I’m gonna rustle up a little Yang on my own.

So I’m looking for trouble.

“good trouble”

The kind that is risky and dangerous because it is†worthwhile.

It’s kind of a direct contradiction to the mores of acting responsibly and avoiding foolishness that I’ve always had as the guiding forces for my life.

But what is foolishness, really? and what does it mean to act responsibly?

To me foolishness is skiing the groomed run when fresh powder is just slightly out-of-bounds.

To me foolishness is never discovering your favorite cuisine because you’re too scared to try it for the first time.

To me foolishness is missing out on your children’s childhood because you’re too busy working for retirement… busting your butt for 40 years so you can sit on it for the last few you’ve got on earth.

To me acting responsibly means making the most of the few years I have.

To me acting responsibly means risking it all for the sake of another.

To me acting responsibly means I’m brave enough to make a mistake.

To me acting responsibly means giving, not getting.

I want to smell the tops of the white pines, the salty sea air, the rain forest floor.

I’ll risk broken bones and sharks and poison darts to get there, but the only thing I’d smell from that lay-z-boy is the stench of my own farts.

As much as I love a good dutch oven, I know greater joy awaits… usually outside the rules.

So Trouble, thou art my new name.

More Self Project

Check out the entire series of self portraits. Some are freaky. Some are weird. Hopefully they all make you think.

Check out more Strong Odors

Support My Mischief

My first big jump into troublemaking is a trip to Africa to minister to those sufferering from HIV/AIDS. You can find out more about the trip or contribute toward my support goals on my Africa website. Check it out!