Becoming my Dad

You’ll be hard pressed to find a teenager who wants to become like his parents.

I wasn’t any different.

While my parents most lovely attributes glowed in my eyes as a kid, adolescence brought their most unfortunate struggles into focus.

So I’d swear up-and-down that I’d never be that way. (just as any self-respecting teenager would).

Now that I’m twice my age and have been a parent for eight years (or 20 collective years), I’m understanding my parents more.

I see both their strengths and their flaws in myself.

I’m learning that I can’t excuse their sins toward me or mine toward my kids, but I am identifying more with them daily.

and that allows me to engage the process of forgiveness…

I wasn’t battered or abused or abandoned or ignored.

I was held and loved and accepted and challenged.

Remembering those things makes the process pretty easy.

I still hope to avoid as many of those errors as I can… I think that’s part of the wonder of family and generations.

To learn from the good and the bad.

I know that I won’t avoid them all (and I’m certain to make new mistakes of my own), and that has made me more sensitive to my parenting.

Because even though I can’t be holy and righteous as a parent all the time, I can recognize my failures quickly and humbly seek my kids’ forgiveness.

and try not to make the same mistakes over and over.

and be honest, brutally honest.

So that’s what I do.

Dedicated to Rick and Jackie. Happy Father’s day 2010, Dad.