Thinking About Divorce


I’ve been thinking a lot about divorce lately…

For so many years I spent in Christian fundamentalism the topic was pretty black and white.

And in so many years since, I’ve learned that most of what was black and white before… isn’t really at all.

Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I’m younger than that now.

How can I best serve a friend in dire straights?

Does divorce even mean anything anymore?

Or more importantly… does marriage? It seems that within our culture, marriage has come to be nothing more than two signatures on a sheet of paper.

It can be easily authenticated by Elvis and easily dissolved if someone cuts the cheese too frequently.

Even mainstream Evangelical denominations have deemed marriage so insignificant, that it has become totally unnecessary for a couple to be considered holy and healthy.

I remember reading Lauren Winner a while back, who is constantly stressing the value of community (and the lack thereof in our culture). She pointed out one aspect of the wedding ceremony of which I had never considered and has certainly shifted my wondering  “what’s the point…”

It is the community of witnesses… there on your wedding day… committing to this relationship just as much as the bride and groom.

By “holding our peace” we commit to serving this family—whatever that means.

And I guess that’s why I must be there for my friend today. I don’t have much wisdom to share or provocative questions that will enlighten his thinking. I most certainly cannot tell him what is right and wrong.

But I’ve got both a literal and a figurative shoulder to cry on if he needs it.

And a swift kick in the pants if he needs that.

And I know he’d have the same for me.