Thanks a lot, God

I’ve been praying lately.

I mean… I normally pray regularly but not really instinctively and not with real faith.

But lately I’ve been praying for real.

and not just that, but other areas of my spirituality have come more into focus and taken the forefront of my life.

Tends to happen when I face great trials.

Smaller trials I try to fix on my own… unemployment, relationships, fears… I believe I can fix those things

(I can’t)

but then when it becomes a matter of life or death… then I realize that I have no control.

and my focus turns back to God.

I’ve got to believe that God cares so deeply about me that he’ll do anything to keep me close.

Break my leg if You must
But keep me close to You

Here’s the sad thing…

after weeks of prayers from me and friends (and strangers) all over the globe…

I finally get some encouraging news from my doctor.

Then almost 2 days pass before I even consider saying “thanks” to God.

Seriously?

I get one glimmer of hope from what seems to be a desperate situation…

and that’s all I need to not only take back the reigns of my life but also forget that I’d given them up in the first place.

The closer I get to where
You are there
The clearer I see
Your fingerprints are everywhere
This must be a moment between bliss and dark despair

The louder I hear You calling my name
The more I remember I won’t be the same
I’d run to the bushes
but my feet are torn and lame

From too many miles straying from Your side
Failing to fit in Your shoes
Too many miles trying to run and hide
When there was so much to lose

Break my leg if You must
But keep me close to You